Hanging out
Personally, trying to hangout with anyone can be so exhausting, because if something comes up or they’re busy, my brain immediately wants to take that as they’re trying to avoid spending time with me, even if I know logically that that’s not the case. And this can get so exhausting because after asking like 2 or even only 3 times (not like in the same day, but different times of asking) it can begin to feel not worth it. And I think this is a big reason why it’s so hard for me to be able to just ‘exist’ without feeling like I’m intruding on something or adding extra weight to a situation that doesn’t need it.
And there will be periods of time where I just sort of isolate myself or don’t reach out to anyone, because that state of mind gets exacerbated and becomes more intense. And at that point it feels safer to just lock myself in and not try to initiate any kinds of conversation or anything.
This is definitely something that I’ve been trying to work on and better, mostly by just asking more frequently to hangout, and being more persistent about asking people to hangout, or even just trying to start conversations. And I’d like to think it’s helped a bit. It’s just a matter of trying to be more consistent, and reminding myself that just because someone is busy does not mean that they don’t want to be around me. (Which should NOT be as hard as it is bro)
But anyways. There’s probably more about this I could rant about, but nothing comes to mind right now, so if I can think of more I’ll do another little post abt it. Piece twins