Love languages
Love languages. The art of knowing how to unlock someone’s unfiltered soul as easily as how to be able to make someone hide that very soul from every outside view for as long as they can muster.
I’ve always had a strong but maybe slightly different connection to love languages than a lot of people have I think, just mostly because I interpret some of them in slightly different ways of bringing them about, so I kind of wanted to go over just the 5 main ones right now, and then maybe go over the expanded 7 some other time. I’m going to just copy paste the 5 love languages and their definitions that google gave me right here:
Words of Affirmation: Expressing love through spoken or written kind words, praise, and encouragement. Quality Time: Giving someone your full, undivided attention through shared presence and meaningful conversations. Receiving Gifts: Valuing thoughtful tokens and physical reminders of care that symbolize love and effort. Acts of Service: Doing helpful, thoughtful tasks that ease a partner's daily burdens. Physical Touch: Feeling loved and connected through physical closeness, hugs, and other affectionate contact.
These are the 5 most commonly talked about and grouped together love languages and the ones the most people know, so I’ll just start by going over only the 5 and then at some point in the future possibly going over the 7 more expanded ones.
Words of affirmation. I’ve always had a weird connection with this love language because I’ve consistently had struggle expressing any emotions, especially intense emotions like love. Even just saying the words “I love you” have been almost impossible to say sometimes and I don’t really know why or what has caused it in the past before. But receiving it has always been a really important thing to me, even when it’s been hard for me to express it myself, just because there’s a decent part of me that needs that constant reassurance and reminder that I’m cared for, even when it’s next to impossible for me to express that to the people I want to myself.
Quality time. This is another one that I think I view inherently different just because my idea of quality time is different from most purples view on it. I can have quality time with someone even if I’m just existing in the same space as them at the same time that we’re both doing separate things that don’t even involve each other. And I think this is why I view this differently than most people is because most people need to be preoccupied with the other person and entertained in some way shape or form to have quality time with them. But I don’t need that. If I’m sitting in the same room as the other person and we’re both just working on our separate things, that counts as quality time for me, and I value it heavily. Probably more than most things. Quality time has to be one of the single most important things to be as a person, and especially as a love language. Top tier, both giving and receiving.
Receiving gifts. This is a love language that I do view in a mostly traditional light. This is a love language that I express a lot with friends that I feel would reciprocate back with it, or with someone that I just want to express a deeper level of appreciation or want for. Giving wise I usually give gifts homemade or inexpensive but thoughtful, not usually costly or unthoughtful because I value the sanctity of gift giving and its unspoken rules of respect in it. And receiving wise I view it in as such the same light. Usually attributing either high platonic affection or interest for more with it. This is a love language that (for me) is greater in effect and times done the higher I feel for the reciprocating party in question. I also give small gifts here and there in times of small thought just to try and show that I do care and try to be there for the other person.
Acts of service. This type of love language is generally flipped for me on both sides of giving and receiving. As far as giving the act of service (in whatever sense that is) I love it. I love being able to help in any form for someone that I genuinely care about, especially if it wasn’t something asked for and just something assumed that did in fact help the other person. But in terms of receiving it’s often times the other way around, although I wish it wasn’t. I think it’s mostly due to my innate sense of need of control over any current situation or environment. And when someone does something to aid in a situation that wasn’t asked for specifically, my head kind of reacts to that not as id like. It’s something I try to work on, and is also something that doesn’t happen if it’s something that was asked for on my end. And ends up actually giving me a good sense of relief. This is a love language that I do enjoy giving more than I do receiving, just because of it’s conditions on my mind.
Physical touch. Yes. Just yes. This is my favorite love language. Always has been. And is only heightened and exaggerated the more I care about you, especially if in a romantic light. Both giving and receiving. But this also leads to the fact that I don’t touch any anyone physically at all usually because my brain puts up massive safe guards against it because it fears making anybody in any situation uncomfortable. So while it inherently strives for that physical contact, it also inherently stays far away from it in fear of making situations worse or taking away any comfort ability in the situation or moment. And this also is something that constantly stays in mind in any given moment. So please, if physical touch is also your love language, let it be known that I would never say no to physical contact if I knew that the other person involved also enjoyed physical contact as well. As it lights my brain up like a Christmas tree.
I think that’s all I can think to go over on these right now, and it’s a lot, so that’s probably a good thing that I stop here. But like I said, I’ll probably go over the expanded 7 love languages at some point in the future. Piece