Physical touch
I don’t really know what to put in here, so I’m probably just going to talk about things as they come to mind and as I come across them, for sake of ease.
Physical touch has always been a big thing for me. In both senses of the matter, I’ve both always hated it, but also always craved it. From what I’ve gathered over my experiences is that I generally love physical touch. Nothing crazy like every inch of my body being pressed against someone’s else’s (although yes also that) but mainly just small gestures. Like a hand in my hair, just running through it, or someone’s head leaned on my shoulder or my lap, or someone stretching their legs over mine crisscrossed. And I don’t mean anything of this only in a romantic or partner way, but also just in a platonic way. Like a good friend putting their hand around my shoulder as we walk side by side talking about something. Just the small act of physical touch can make me feel so much more at ease and content, whenever I’m normally really tense or anxious or whatever.
But on the flip of that, touch can also drive me up a wall in the right circumstances. For one, I have to know you and already be comfortable with you as a person. If I can have a deep conversation with you, and also talk to you about bugs, then I’m already comfortable enough with you for physical touch. And this is part of the fact that I don’t see intimacy as a romantic thing. I think intimacy at its core should be had on a societal level. Like best friends should have a great level of intimacy with each other. And I’m not talking about like taking a bath together, but also I’m not not saying that. I’m just saying that intimacy shouldn’t be such a problem within a strictly platonic relationship.
Another thing with not liking physical touch with me, is when it surprises me out of nowhere, or if I’m irritated. Either of those things can make me uncomfortable in a fraction of a second, and the feeling from that contact can linger on my skin for minutes, and it can be extremely bothering.
So as long as I’m not bothered, irritated, don’t feel comfortable with you to have deep and dumb conversations, then physical contact is amazing.
And I think I crave physical contact in the same way that a baby needs it when it’s wanting to be soothed. If that makes sense? Physical contact has been proven several times to be a soothing experience for most people, and that is DEFINITELY the case with me.
That’s all I’m going to rant about this for now. If anything else comes to mind I’ll probably do a smaller and more controlled rant